


Through The Night

by mansikka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 05:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5899516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever had the kind of day when a song followed you everywhere you went?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through The Night

Ever had the kind of day when a song followed you everywhere you went?

_Take the ribbons from your hair…_

Dean’s eyes narrowed and he stopped, turning towards the door of the music store as they walked down the street. Sam continued walking, so for a few beats of the conversation he hadn't realised Dean had stopped moving.

When he turned back, the expression on Dean’s face was one of pain.

November 2nd always took Dean unawares.

Some years it snuck up on him and he’d feel nothing but longing for a mother he’d idolised and lost far too young. Other years he’d somehow get through the day before it sank in, and when it did, it hit him in the stomach like a fist of iron.

Sam always mourned too, but it was different for him. He could never miss his mother the same way as Dean did, because a mother was something he had never known. So he did what he could to be there for Dean, pressed a little lighter when he wanted to make a point. Made sure whiskey and pie were within grabbing distance.

_...shake ‘em loose and let ‘em fall…_

The diner radio crackled as Dean stopped mid chew, frowning in the direction of the music. He swallowed with difficulty and returned the burger to his plate, pushing it away with a loss of appetite.

One of Dean’s earliest memories was of his mom and dad dancing in the kitchen.

They’d had their ups and downs, his parents, but underneath all of the fights and the misunderstandings, there was love. So much love.

His dad would spin his mom out and Dean would watch from the kitchen table as her hair flared, lighting up in the sunlight coming in from the back window.

Laughter would fill the air as she spun back to John, hand clutched around his shoulder and a smile a mile wide.

The next time Dean had heard the song he was six, and his dad had drunkenly smashed the record player until shards of LP flew across the room.

_Let ‘em fall against your chin…_

Changing cassette tapes in the Impala always ran the risk of random music, but today the radio seemed particularly vindictive.

Dean rammed the tape in so hard that for a moment it sounded like the mechanism had jammed. Then there was a click, and Led Zeppelin II started halfway through Heartbreaker. He cranked the volume loud enough to make his own ears bleed and pushed his foot down hard on the pedal.

_...like the shadows on the wall…_

Sam had been the one to find the turntable. A Marantz 6370Q in almost perfect condition with a lovingly polished wooden finish. Despite Dean’s usual reluctance to taint any music with technology, he’d happily set up the turntable in his bedroom alongside a Bose speaker system that let him hear every crackle and hiss.

The record collection was slowly filling the shelves alongside the books he and Cas had amassed over the years.

On dark days, when hunts had gone bad and moods had soured, one of them would select a record, slide it out of the sleeve, and lay it on the turntable in something like reverence. No words were spoken, and the music slowly did its magic and settled them down.

One glance in Cas’ direction on return to the bunker, and Dean headed straight for their room. Cas pursed his lips and watched him leave in silence. He stood for a moment, then placed a conciliatory hand on Sam’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “I'm sorry, Sam. Today… is difficult, I know.”

“Thanks, Cas.” He smiles and nods towards the doorway. “Think he needs you more than I do.”

Cas walked over to the fridge and took out two beers, walking down the corridor to their room. He found Dean slumped horizontally across the bed, one hand covering his face.

The turntable beckoned. Cas ran a finger along the record sleeves and pulled out a new single record purchase he’d made on a whim a few days ago.

He hand-placed the needle at the beginning of the record; Dean had already told him that the automatic needle placement was for amateurs and so he’d learned to use his steady fingers instead.

The soft crackle of the needle in the record groove stuttered out through the speakers.

_Take the ribbons from your hair…_

Dean bolted up from the bed, rushing towards Cas. “Not that, Cas. Not that. I can’t listen to that.” His words choked out, breathing hard.

Cas turned to face him fully but stood silent, waiting, a tilt of his head asking a question.

“My…my parents used to dance to this.” Dean dropped his head with a whisper, unable to keep any eye contact.

His eyes lifted when he felt Cas’ hands circle his waist.

“Will you dance with me, Dean?” Cas asked softly, turning his head up to kiss Dean on his cheek as he leaned into him.

Dean let out a sob he hadn't known he was holding and wrapped his arms around Cas, crushing him against him. Cas looped his arms around tighter, pressing soft kisses anywhere he could find bare skin.

They turned in a small circle, letting the song play out in full.

_All I'm taking is your time..._

Dean clung on to Cas as though he were a lifeline.

_...help me make it through the night…_

Tears fell unchecked onto Cas’ shoulder, and wet kisses soaked into his hair. Cas said nothing, just held on, long after the song had finished until Dean had calmed.

Dean took a breath and stepped back a little, wiping his eyes roughly with his thumb and forefinger. Wriggling his fingers in Cas’ direction so that he’d take his hand, Dean pulled him towards the bed.

Dean pushed lightly so that Cas laid on his back. He crawled over him, one thigh between Cas’ and his fingers hooked underneath Cas’ shoulder blades. Dean rested his head on Cas’ chest, breathing in his scent deeply.

Cas wrapped his arms tightly around Dean again, kissing the top of his head and murmuring into his hair until he fell asleep.

 

[ Help me make it through the night ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrAQ34KXCOM) , _Willie Nelson_

_Take the ribbons from your hair shake 'em loose and let 'em fall_

_Let 'em fall against your chin like the shadows on the wall_

_Come and lay down by my side till the early morning light_

_All I'm taking is your time help me make it through the night_

_Well I don't care who's right or wrong and I won't try to understand_

_Let the devil take tomorrow cause tonight I need a friend_

_Yesterday is dead and gone and tomorrow's out of sight_

_And it's sad to be alone help me make it through the night_

  
  



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